I don’t know if you know this, but Florida is June is hot. Like yesterday it was almost 100 degrees and there is some humidity. It’s not weather for a delicate flower such a myself.
Since I had driven so much over the two days prior, Barry let me sleep late on Sunday and then we got up and after a trip through the Starbucks drive through, we entered the gate for his sister’s neighborhood with a secret code sending device in Barry’s car and we went swimming in her pool while she was flying to Mexico. Did I mention her pool was in a screened in enclosure surrounded by fruit trees?
So in case you aren’t quite getting the mental picture – me, pool, diet coke, water and coffee on a sunny day. OH yeah! At one point, I may have been supplied an adult beverage. Also, I managed to wear sunscreen so guess who is not full lobster? This girl finally learned. Also, after we swam, Barry took me for tacos and more diet coke. Then we coupon shopped at Kohl’s where I scored a super cute purse before we grocery shopped and went home to take naps to get ready for bedtime.
Often on Facebook and Instagram you see these pictures of women on vacation with their perfectly polished toes at the beach or the pool and so I said to Barry, take a picture of my toes sticking out of the water. He did and I was disappointed because you could also see my sweet cankles and it wasn’t the sexy toe pick I wanted at all. And then it dawned on me – who gives a fuck? We all know I’m not a super model and a size 10 and let’s be honest, never will be. I have wasted so much time in my life thinking I was less because I weighed more. Why does that matter so much? I mean, sure, I might not want to walk a mile to eat nachos with you, but really, I have yet to find a nacho so good anyone would think it was worth walking a mile to eat it, thin or fluffy. And no offense to my thin friends, but I always find it comforting to hug someone with a little fluff. So to summarize, I am a top notch hugger who will not walk a mile for nachos, sweats a lot in summer and has cute toes – it’s just the cankles that do me in.
Seriously, I think it’s time to start letting go of all the things that have held me back. I’m working the Weight Watchers program, not because I want to be someone else, but because there is a runner inside me that wants out. Also, I would like to be able to swim more aerodynamically. And most importantly because at 42 years old, I have finally learned that there is no magic morsel that you can eat that will make it all better – take away the sadness, emptiness, loneliness, boredom or make the celebration that much better.
Here is the thing – and I think it is something that we need to learn and remember each day because it’s easy to forget – I am enough – I am amazing – I am kind and funny. I don’t have to be anyone but me. And if that’s not ok with you and you don’t want to be under the Jennifoster umbrella of luck anymore, then, in the words of my dad, go pound sand.