After receiving nudges from both K-Fo and J-Ho in the past 24 hours, I realized I have let almost two weeks pass without a new entry. The truth is, I’ve been struggling a bit and I didn’t want to report that. I mean, I’ve been doing stuff like working on my epic tan, visiting people, leaving the house a record number of times per week but I’ve been struck with, in Holly Golightly’s words, the mean reds.
The evil twin is “supposed” to be out September 1st but as of yet has not confirmed that he has a place to go or even packed a single one of his things. There is a pile of boxes in the dinning room, of stuff that I have packed up for him in an effort to better organize the kitchen. I have all these ideas for how I want things to be when I live here alone, but I am unable to do most of it until his stuff is out of the way.
The well-meaning people in my life keep offering advice like “just put his stuff outside”, “put his stuff in the hall”, “tell him you are throwing it all out on such and such a date.” – While I wish it were that easy there are three problems with that- 1) it’s a lot of work to do all that and since I was fired as the live in nanny /caterer / maid/ personal assistant and general life coach, I really think the least a person can do is pack their own crap. 2) It’s not legal to throw out his stuff – He is on the lease until the end of March 2018 – so his stuff has every right to be here. And 3) I’ve watched enough people’s court/Judge Judy to know that even if he wasn’t on the lease, he still has some implied rights and if I got rid of it all, I would have to pay for it. Also, I’m not taking him off the lease until he gets his crap out because as long as he leaves it here, I’m not letting him off the hook for paying rent.
So back to the mean reds. I have been ANGRY. Ask anyone from the poor guy at Verizon wireless who called me about a work phone bill, the Indian guy at Motorola who needed to help me with a warranty claim and generally any person I have talked to in the last week or so. I am so angry about this break up and the aftermath. I mean, he has completely moved on with his life – new girlfriend and all – and just left the mess here for me. And I have no choice but to the be the grown up, once again and deal with that. It probably doesn’t help that I have also decided to stop taking stuff to sleep. So now I’m over tired and angry.
How can someone who said they loved you once treat you like that? What a shitty, crappy, jerky thing to do. I mean, seriously, man up. Pack your 40 pairs of perfectly balled socks, your stupid RPG stuff, your ridiculous totes of papers and bills from the last decade and never, ever, come back.
But I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that even though I’m struggling people are still showing up and being there for me. I had an awesome dinner with an old friend the other night, I’ve been spending one day a week working from another friend’s house who is weirdly in love with doing laundry (she does my laundry for me) and makes me lunch and then takes me to a pool in the afternoon. I got to spend some quality time with my teenage sidekick, Bailey, last weekend and another friend brought me French Silk pie. The other night before bedtime I received a text from a friend with some suggestions about honey and cinnamon to help me sleep and it was like a sweet hey we’re all here hug via SMS.
I’ve said it before and I don’t know how to say it any better, but if nothing else comes from this, I will never, ever doubt again that I am so very loved.