One of the best parts of moving around all my stuff as I am slowly able to stretch into every corner of the apartment is that I have been finding “treasures” that I had forgotten about.
One such treasure is a sweet 4X6 bright orange notebook I brought myself ( or was it a gift from someone who knows my love of the list book???) that literally says on the front WAKE UP & BE AWESOME. I think that’s a great idea and it is going to be my new motto. All over things aside, tomorrow, I’m going to WAKE UP & BE AWESOME.
I have also found a lot pictures that I forgot I had from when I was younger of me and my sister and mom and dad. Its so weird to look at them now and see little Eddie and Alice’s faces in ours when we were kids and the faces of my sisters and I in my younger parents.
There is so much turmoil right now, floods, fires, political issues that I think we all need a minute to remember that no matter what happens, time still marches on. That is certain, we can’t stop it, so we might as well make the best of it. Wake up each day and plan to be awesome. Take a moment to be kind to someone.
There still are some areas that I have not been able to go through because He has not completely moved out yet because apparently 4 months wasn’t enough time pack. ( dick move if you ask me) He was however gracious enough to let me know that he left totes in his truck if I want to pack more of his things this week while he was gone. Seriously. I’m not making it up. I can show you the text message.
I was informed late last night that He finally got an apartment and should be out for good this weekend. I woke up this morning feeling like a huge weight had been lifted, there is a finally an end to this. The hard part is I just wish there was some way for him to understand how cruel his actions were and how much he hurt me. But in order for that to happen, he would still have to care about me and that is the hardest part. Accepting that after knowing someone for 7 years, having a life with them, sharing secrets, hopes, dreams and fears, they just don’t give a rat’s ass about you anymore is really hard because, for me, I would never do that. I mean I literally fretted for 2 weeks about him not having a can opener in his kitchen boxes I packed because we only had one and it was pink. Like seriously it bothered me to the point that one of my friends had to talk me down. And so knowing that, I know that this separation is the best thing for me and once it’s actually done, I can get some closure and not be reminded every day of what once was. And I will no longer be burdened with trying to make someone happy who is impossible to please and selfish. I just have to worry about me. Well and Larry. The cat. No, I’m not becoming a crazy cat lady. I’ve had him forever. For real, I’m not getting more cats. Well, maybe not….