So like most of the rest of you, I am once again suffering from an intrusion of my body by a violent virus that really likes to attach to mucus membranes. I will not lie. I am not a just leave me alone and let me sleep sick person. I am whiny and I will not pretend to be anything else. But here is the real problem, Saturday morning, I gather all my strength to go to CVS for cough medicine and Vick’s vapor rub. I get the goods and get to the car, and since I had been out of cough medicine since the previous night, I was going to take it right there, straight from the bottle in the CVS parking lot. But like everything else when you’re sick, this too could not be that easy. So first, I tear open the cardboard box, then there is plastic shrink wrap “for my protection” over the bottle and dosage cup. Thinking I was almost to the good stuff, I was then faced with the obstacle of the child proof cap. After successfully pressing while turning, I was ready to victoriously swig my way to cough suppression, only to find a foil seal on the bottle. Seriously???? What are they protecting me from? Feeling better? Not being aggravated? I feel like there are other products where maybe this level of security is warranted and not there, but really, cut a wheezing whiner a break.
Speaking of coughing, I have just come up with a million dollar idea. Let me know if you want to help me make it. You know when you’re sick and you cough and your head hurts and you want to hold your head why you cough? Why doesn’t someone make a like head “snuggie” that holds your head with some pressure to give you relief when your cough?
Next thing of concern – why does cough medicine come blue? When I was a kid, and would make sugar cookies with my mom, she would make a table full of cookies and then Jes and I would decorate them, as she frosted them. She would make yellow frosting, green frosting, white frosting but never blue because, I’m pretty sure I remember her saying, nothing comes blue naturally. ( In all fairness, yes blueberries do, but they are not christmassy- just let it go) Why would they find it is necessary to include yet another chemical in the cough medicine just to make it blue? I do not find it comforting that I’m drinking blue liquid. In fact, it creeps me out.
In all seriousness, I did see the Doctor today, I was awarded a steroid inhaler, these weird, yet really awesome cough pearls for day and the treasured codeine cough medicine for night. She confirmed that I was pretty sick and it would good I came in. I don’t know why at 42 I needed to hear that, but just the same, it was nice. And truth be told, when I picked up my prescriptions at Target, I may have also treated my self to a new humidifier and some nail polish. A girl’s got to do what she needs to feel better. 6 hours later, I have almost caught my breath from that adventure. Screw you lung invading virus.
I know that I am a lot luckier than most of my woman friends, because although I’m whining about feeling lonely and wanting someone to take care of me right now while I’m sick, I don’t have to get up in the morning and get someone to school and make sure they comb their hair, brush their teeth, then provide them with dinner at the end of the day and bake 40 cupcakes for school tomorrow for the holiday party. Moms – you bitches are fierce! I also have the luxury of working from home, so I don’t have to deal with traffic and unscheduled naps are sometimes allowed, plus, no cares that I didn’t comb my hair this morning and I am in fact, recycling yesterday’s classy 1 second bun. So in reality, this could be worse but I’m just struggling getting past the 4 four layers of protection on the cough medicine bottle and that’s a great distraction from thinking about how I haven’t wrapped a single Christmas present yet. I still 5 and half days – no rush.