So, my well meaning friends suggested a few months ago that it was time to start dating again. You may remember reading about this and if you drank every time I used the word gross, I’m sure you were drunk by the end of the post.
Truth be told, I have been interacting in a social way with some of the fellas. You make remember me telling you about one I was optimistic about named Kyle. That was a bust. He had an incredible inability to communicate except via text message or when he was in the car. ( I know, sounds super fishy right??) Although he denied he was, in fact still married, however, my super sharp research team could not find his “divorce” anywhere on the internet, obviously because there wasn’t one, and the butterfly wind chime in his front yard all pretty much confirmed he was lying. (You don’t really want to know how I know about the wind chime and all I will say is that I wasn’t driving) He is now dead to me.
There was this other guy who was fun enough to talk and message with although I didn’t think he was most attractive, some people just don’t photograph well so I thought I’m not going to judge. Met him in real life. Aggressively tried to kiss me and then proceeded to lick my neck. Enough time spent talking about him. GROSS
One night Jenny was over and we were being silly and messaged a guy who was cute enough. Actual conversation:
ME: How you doin? ( read in Joey Tribianni’s voice)
Him: Good ( that was it, no how are you, nothing trying to engage further in conversation)
ME: ( with the encouragement of some “juice” and Jenny): Just checking
Him: Staying warm
Seriously???? Can you toss me a bone? I’m trying here. Basic small talk. Am I asking too much?
Seriously people, enjoy your spouses and current romantic entanglements because dating is not as fun as Lori promised it would be.
Oh but wait, there is more ( and since my mom can’t be bothered to read this her own self, DO NOT TELL HER ABOUT THIS – she can wait until I’m sure to tell her about this) I actually met a nice guy!!!! Long story short – he is punctual, adorable, funny, sweet, eats cheese and generally, terrific. It’s just the beginning where everything seems perfect, but it’s easy and fun and when my phone dings with a sweet text, I get a shit eating grin. And I got to kiss him at midnight on New Year’s Eve and he met Jenny and her husband ( actually before he met me, but that’s a story for a different day) and they gave him their seal of approval. Here’s how I know he likes me as much as I like him – he’s willing to sit through Dirty Dancing with me, in all fairness, I did say I would watch those awful Lord of the Rings movies with him but still, this might get good…