So I know, this is what you are all wondering about, anyways – what’s up with Andy?
So yes, I am still dating Andy and I feel bad because it is SO very hard to not compare him to the last guy I dated. Constantly. I know at some point it will stop but after you go through what I did, you are guarded. I am constantly on high alert to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes I made last time – that I am choosing better- smarter- even safer.
Meeting Andy scared me. I thought I was ready to start dating, I missed the affection and the person to check in with daily, but I just was starting to get comfortable being alone and even enjoying it and I didn’t want to let go of it now that I had gotten back to the “good place”.
So New Year’s Eve I met Andy. He was cute and nice, sweet and punctual, funny and smart. ( He can do Algebra in his head) And we clicked so I decided to try it. He, luckily for me, is also a fan of independence and so even though we are smitten, no one is trying to clip anyone’s wings. I have no less than 4 trips planned for the 5 months and he has expressed zero concern and has patiently listened to me tell him about all the details as they come together, with in-depth detail.
It might seem trite, but early on, I let him know that things like Valentine’s Day and my birthday are super important to me. And he listened. On February 14th, he showed up with 4 roses – 2 pink and 2 red. I like to think he put a bit of thought in it – beacuse they were perfect – not too much, included my favorite color- but not too little.
He knew I was having a hard week the week I put Larry to sleep. After I got home from my parent’s that Sunday night, he came over, made a special stop to bring me ice ( I can’t really stock it here because my freezer is at capacity) and since I had told him about a bakery craving the day before, he brought the good donuts for me, hugged me and kissed me on the forehead.
But he really aced my birthday. He works third shift and came over in the morning after work on my birthday. I was still half asleep when he arrived so I didn’t notice anything special until he was getting ready to leave. And then out comes a gift bag – pink with glitter on – and presents! I knew he was coming over that morning, but I was not expecting presents. ( now might be a good time to note that someone else often put zero effort into Valentine’s or my birthday) And they were good ones. Ones that showed he knew me some and listened to me even about things I wanted and I liked and hadn’t even realized I told him I wanted. I mean seriously, I pink list book? Talk about hitting a home run.
I have a male friend who is a little older than me who I like because I feel like he’s got it figured it and has a good moral compass. He always tells me, don’t listen to what they say, pay attention to what they do. Andy doesn’t make sweeping declarations, he is steady and kind, shows me that he cares. He’s on time ( another trait someone seriously lacked) I’m not going to lie, it’s a weird feeling to have someone not want anything – he just likes me and shows me stuff in his phone without trying to hide anything. ( Insert comparison statement here)
He’s pretty shy, so if he catches wind of this, he’ll probably turn like 3 shades of red. But I like his shyness, there is an earnestness about it that makes me feel safe and that it’s ok to trust him.
There are no grand plans for the future – we’re just taking our time getting to know each other and having fun and I will eventually wear him down enough that he will commit to camping in a tent.