Couple of things to bring you up to speed on:
- Did you know Zac Efron sings songs? While listening to Pandora this morning, a pretty song came on I hadn’t heard before – turns out it was Mr. Efron and someone else from the circus movie – now I kind of think I want to see it – It’s called the Greatest Showman or something like that and many people have said it was good.
- I have finished the first 6 seasons of Call the Midwife on Netflix. I know feel sad and can’t wait to watch season 7 as soon as I figure out how. It really is a great show and I can’t recommend it highly enough.
- I ended things with Andy this week. I know you were all wondering how it was going. I did it. In an email ( hey – don’t judge – at least it wasn’t a text) because I wanted to say somethings and didn’t want to get flustered or put him in an uncomfortable situation. He really is a sweet guy, just not the right one for me. And like I always tell Bailey, the whole point of dating is to get to know someone to see if they could be your forever person. I had known that for a little while that Andy wasn’t going to be that person and didn’t want to waste his time just so I could have “someone”.
It’s funny though, the ink on the email is hardly dry and people are all like, “get back out there!” and I’m like hold on. Just because I broke up with Andy doesn’t mean I don’t have some sadness about it too. I hurt someone, and I don’t take that lightly. Plus summer is here and let’s be honest, I don’t really need anyone interfering with my travel and pool time.
Ok – fine, the real reason I don’t want to hop right back on the horse is because I don’t want to. I don’t want to be responsible for another person and their feelings. If I don’t want to answer my phone for 3 days, I don’t have to. I don’t want to deal with the awkwardness of getting to know someone right now. I want to swim, sing loudly to the radio, conquer my fear of charcoal grilling, listen to the birds in the morning while drinking coffee, sleep in the middle of the bed and just enjoy feeling joy again in everyday things without having to share it. I just want to savor it for now, I mean, it’s been a long road back to this place – the last few years I was with Steve I had lost my joy, so I deserve this time for myself and I’m not giving it up.
I believe in fate and karma, so when the time is right, the next one will come along and how knows, he might be a keeper…