I like to consider myself a pretty practical, grounded person for the most part. I remember in third grade, Maya and Lisa having all these Michael Jackson pictures in their desk because they had crushes on him. Bailey went through a Keisha/Selena Gomez phase and I’m pretty sure my friend Lori still has a picture of either Tom Selleck or Mark Harmon on her fridge.
I do not know what has come over me, but I can not get enough John Cena. Yes, he’s a wrestler, but he’s a person too! And I don’t even watch the wrestling. I love him in movies and on talk shows. He has such personality and I’m not going lie, the final straw was the other day. I was scrolling through Facebook, and there he was smiling at me from a Hefty ad. That was it, I was hit bad by the hard core celebrity crush. Like I screen shot the ad. It’s on my desktop now and my phone. So every time I unlock my phone, it’s like he’s smiling at me and I like to imagine him saying, “how you doin’?” and I can’t help but smile back at him.
So then, totally not in a creepy way, I went on Pinterest and apparently there are some people out there crushing on him hard in a creepy way, like they have whole Pinterest boards dedicated to him. He is so pretty,but I think it’s best to keep our one sided love affair private, so I just copied some of the best pictures to my phone for my personal viewing.
My friend sent me this today – 3 whole minutes of him – enjoy:
Now, before his people catch wind of this and think I am stalker – I’m not going to lie, I would love to have dinner with him, AS FRIENDS. He’s been through a lot lately, I’ve been through a lot, I could probably give him some sage advice. I have no idea where he lives. I have no plan on finding out. I also do not think he is talking directly to me via television, social media or directly in my head. So basically, I am not mentally ill and not stalking him. I just think he’s funny and so pretty and wouldn’t mind chatting. Seriously though – if his people could contact me – that would be great.