I can hardly believe it, it’s almost July already. Where does the time go?
I feel like life has just been moving and kind of just happening. I was thinking about how this time last year, I was in Florida, in the middle of my big adventure and how different everything was. I was so sad and the hurt was so fresh and Steve still had to move out and I had no idea how the dust was going to settle. I knew if I could just wait through the ups and downs, I would get to the other side and feel whole again, but just because you know something, doesn’t make it easy to do.
When I get stuck, I always think of my friend/freshman college roommate Nancy. I remember there were times in college when I would just be so overwhelmed and I would say to her, “I wish I could just go to sleep for like 2 years and wake up and this all would be better.” and she would say something nice. So fast forward a few years, now we’re like 21, and again, overwhelmed, I say to her “I wish I could just go to sleep for like 2 years and wake up and this all would be better.” and she looked at me and reminded me of how I had said the same thing years ago and sure enough, now, all those things I had worried about were better and this new trouble would too pass. Time really is an important part of healing – whether you get over something or even just through it, time helps you gain the grace and wisdom you need to move forward – one tiny step at a time.
I’ve given up on the online dating for now. I mean, some guy called me a flake because I did not instantly respond to his messages. Also, he was unable to participate in small talk. He had like 3 sentences – “can you send me more pictures?”, “when are going to meet?” and some other random one word response to any question I asked. And the truth is, I don’t even want to to date right now because I don’t want to share my space. I don’t mean just physically – although sleeping in the middle of the bed and always holding the remote is pretty awesome – I mean, it’s nice to not be accountable to anyone but me. My sister’s little one got sick and couldn’t go to daycare – no problem, I packed up and was there. I can be as cranky as I want, as outgoing as I want – I don’t have to worry about walking on eggshells and it’s actually pretty awesome.
I have noticed that people around me, at times say some pretty awesome stuff, so I’ve been trying to jot it down so I can share it – these are two most recent favorites:
A friend telling me the story of him and his wife: “I knew where she was going that night, I went to the bar, we hooked up and we’ve been together ever since” – I just like how simple it was because love always seems to be so messy.
I’m iming with a friend one day and we were talking about a bunch of different things –
Me: (complaining about PMS): my boobs hurt
Her: Because of the chicken?
Obviously two different conversations overlapped there, but just the same, it was hilarious at the time.
Look at me, laughing about chicken making boobs hurt. Who ever thought I would get back here?
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