Why did they have to make coffee so complicated?

So I was dragging ass Monday afternoon and my throat was a little scratchy and I really wanted coffee. I put on shoes and a bra and headed out. ( I already was wearing pants and a sweatshirt, FYI – so I didn’t just leave in shoes and bra – sorry if that was unclear)

Now normally, I would just run through the drive thru at McDonald’s or Starbuck’s and order a latte or Caramel Mocha or something like that and then drive around to the window and some nice clerk would hand me a warm cup of deliciousness.

But in a effort to minimize my spending so that I can start saving for the greatest trip I will ever take, I decide to go to the Kwik Trip across the street for coffee.  What a shit show!!!  They had 8 kinds of coffee with these notes about “notes” in the coffee flavor and caffeine level.  Then there were 4 different sizes of cups, 4 different flavors of creamer, like 12 different syrups, 4 or 5 different kinds of sweetener and like 4 different things you can sprinkle on top.  And then if you turned around, there was whipped topping and chocolate and caramel drizzle.  I mean, you could literally make like 234,532,983,193 different combinations with all that crap.

All I wanted was warm deliciousness.  So I take a 24 oz cup, start off with a solid 1/2 – 3/4 inch of cinnamon hazelnut creamer in the bottom ( surprisingly, still not quite enough- my coffee was a little darker than I would have liked), then I filled the cup up like half way with hazelnut coffee ( allegedly low in caffeine) and the other half with a combination of French and Dark Roast ( high in caffeine).  I take my super full cup over to put a lid on it and then I see all the syrups, so I add a couple pumps of hazelnut ( you know, to really bring the hazelnut flavor home) and 2 packets of sugar in the raw.  After 3 tries, I finally successfully get the proper lid adhered to the cup and head to the check out.

With much anticipation, I make the 3 minute trip home, thinking this is going to be the best coffee ever.  I pour it out of the paper cup into a fancy mug I imported from South Dakota that holds like 20 ounces and slammed what was left in the paper cup.  I take a sip.  It ok.  Such a let down.  I feel like I would have been better served mixing two packets of instant coffee with one packet of hot chocolate mix like I originally planned but thought it was good idea to leave the house.

Leaving the house is overrated.  But at least I re-invested some lottery winnings while I was out.  If anyone can turn 6 bucks into 20, it’s this girl.  Keep your fingers crossed.

Published by

Jennifer Foster

I am on quest to reclaim my life, one mile and one photo at a time. My goal is to share all the good and bad in a way that is both heart warming and humorous. Buckle in and enjoy my tales of travels and life's trials and tribulations. All described here in detail and photos because seriously, I can't make this shit up.

398 thoughts on “Why did they have to make coffee so complicated?”

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