So, do you remember when we were in grade school and got to play bingo for special occasions and it was so fun? Or, Maybe it’s just me, but I can live with that. Anyways, I’ve always wanted wanted to be one of those people who goes to bingo and guess what? I am now.
A couple weeks ago, on a very exciting Friday night, Jenny and I went to the Ho Chunk Casino in Wisconsin Dells where I got to play for the first time. It cost like $28 dollars for cards on Friday nights ( including the extra games) and it starts at 6 pm and lasts until like 1030. I dabbed for 4.5 hours and never won a single game.
It’s actually a lot more involved than you would realize. First off, they have free soda, but tiny cups, so you must get many to get any real volume. And then each game is looking for some weird shape so if you’re smart, which I am now, you go through and mark all your cards before the games start so you know what shape you’re looking for. And then they have the regular games and the “extras” and they are all mixed up so you have to get all your cards in the right order. And for the love of God, do they have to call the numbers so fast? Long story short, I did not win that night, but on the way back to Jenny’s house, I did not hit two deer, so I feel like that’s a win, right? Oh and I got the AC fixed in the navigator that weekend. SCORE!
So fast forward to Wednesday and we decide to go again, but this time, we took Lori and her niece with us, who I would like to state for the record are some real trouble makers.
I should backtrack here for a second and tell you, about the Bingo at Ho-Chunk. There are two ways to play. You can either do it the right way, on paper with a dabber, or the wrong way, with a computer where you just sit and watch it happen. Some of these people at bingo as super serious and will like set up a “work station” with family pictures and everything around their computer.
Ok, so it’s Wednesday night, we’re playing the bingo the right way, on paper, having fun, laughing etc and there is this mean older lady at the end of the table playing on a computer and READING A BOOK. Bitch, if you want to read a book, why even come to bingo? YES! I’m judging, anyways she was there with who appeared to be her mom and dad because they were even older. The table seats like 9 on a side – just to give you some perspective how close we were, so she’s like 6 chairs away. About halfway through, we’re getting giggly and annoyed we’re not winning and start dabbing “aggressively” and thinking it’s funny, we start laughing, not even loud, but harder. Well, book reader lady goes “that’s enough”, which only kind of eggs us on. Fast forward like 8 minutes and next thing I know, there is a security guard standing next to Lori’s niece telling us that we need to dab more softly, we’re bothering the people around us.
Yeah, that really happened. But I felt bad for the poor security guard lady. I mean, she’s the one the one who probably went home that night, walked in the door and her husband was like, “how was your night dear?” and she had to say, “it was rough. some middle aged women were dabbing loudly.” Que the world’s tiniest violin.
We’re still at bingo, trying hard to dab normally but still in disbelief about this whole thing, when this guy who was back neighbors with the reader, also playing on a computer, turns around and goes, ” didn’t you hear the lady?” The best part about this is, at this point, Jenny was trying something new for luck – see picture below and goes to him, ” ‘m not going anything” and he stammers, I think she frightened him, and goes, “well, not you, but the other three.” Two games later Lori’s niece won $250. The fun suckers won nothing.
Last week I went and played Bingo at the Knights of Columbus in Sun Prairie. Much nicer crowd. No computers. Still didn’t win. At least it was for a good cause. But keeping with tradition, Lori brought someone along who got yelled at. Nothing like starting and keeping a tradition.